More Than This
by DaggerQuill
Summary: “We sail through our youth so impatiently, until we see that the years move along and Time, it fades away.” After he returns from the war, Ben and Felicity experience the joys and heartbreaks of growing apart and finding each other again.
1. Prologue

Notes and Disclaimers:

Oh man, I can not believe this is happening. I started getting ideas for this story over a year and a half ago, and I've been working on it, mostly passively ever since. My goal was to have it all written before I started posting, and I have not done that. Over half of it is finished and the entire thing is planned in detail, I'm hoping having readers will give me the proper motivation to actually sit down and finish. So if you like what you see now, please, please review. The title of this story and the quote from the summary are from the song "More Than This" by Vanessa Carlton. The _Felicity Series _is owned by The Pleasant Company.

**More Than This **

An _American Girl: Felicity _Fanfiction

By: DaggerQuill

Prologue

January, 1777

"Felicity!" Mrs. Merriman called from the bottom of the stairs.

Felicity Merriman had been hiding in her bed chamber all morning. She felt like she'd been cleaning for two straight days to prepare for the Twelfth Night party her mother was hostessing. At breakfast that morning where she was told to clean her room, which she did despite the fact that she was sure none of the guests would be upstairs at all. She decided after polishing silver and helping Rose in the kitchen all day yesterday, she deserved the rest of the morning off. Apparently, her mother didn't think so.

Despite the last few days of work, Felicity thought this Christmas had been wonderful. The whole town seemed more cheerful because the soldier's were expected home any day. Their enlistments were up at the beginning of January, and since the British had decided to stop the war for the winter, most of the men were not reenlisting. At home, her Mother had done everything to make this holiday extra special. She had been sick for the last two Christmases, once with a fever and the next because of her pregnancy. Felicity knew that tonight's party was going to exceed everyone's expiations.

The only person Felicity knew who seemed unenthusiastic about the Christmas season was Ben, her father's apprentice and her close friend. He had spent the few weeks since his eighteenth birthday complaining and sulking about, pouring over newspapers and Thomas Pain's pamphlets.

"This is ridiculous!" He'd ranted. "They say they're not taking recruits right now, to wait until spring. The whole army will be leaving within the week! When spring comes we'll have no army, but the British will be well rested and ready to fight!"

"Ben, from what I've read the soldiers are freezing and starving, with no supplies or weapons, they are not ready to fight now anyway."

"I'm ready to fight." Ben said irately.

"I know," she said in a low, soothing voice.

To be honest, she was happy that Ben couldn't leave. It was partly selfish, her best friend Elizabeth had just moved with her family to upstate New York, where they had connections with other loyalist families. Elizabeth's father had fled there after being jailed for supporting the British in Williamsburg, and her mother wanted to get her daughters as far away from the war as possible. Felicity didn't want another friend to leave her. But mostly, she was worried. She'd seen too many families waiting on letters from their sons and brothers, which never came often enough. Or worse, they would receive a cold unfeeling letter from an officer saying that their loved ones were never coming home. It would be hard if Ben left, but if he never came back, she couldn't imagine how awful that would be.

"Felicity Merriman, What are you doing up here?" Her mother asked, hurriedly entering the room without knocking.

"Cleaning my room," Felicity said, trying to sound innocent.

"For three hours?" Her mother accused. "I want you to go and get the good china and set the table. Make sure _all _the silver is polished, then go to the kitchens and see if Rose needs any help, but, I want you and your sister bathed and dressed by four, understand?"

"Yes, mother." Felicity said through clenched teeth as she headed down the stairs.

An hour before the guests were to arrive Felicity's mother was still in her work dress, in a frenzy of fixing last minute details, when there was a knock on the door. Felicity, who was already dressed, went to answer it.

"Who on earth? Who would show up this early?" She muttered to no one in particular brushing past Felicity.

A messenger boy was impatiently waiting on the step with a satchel was full of letters. "I have message for Mrs. Merriman." He was slightly out of breath. Mrs. Merriman paid the boy. When she had finished reading the message she sighed.

"Felicity!" She called out, forgetting she was standing right behind her "Oh! Your Father and Ben are going to be late. I need you to help me move the furniture in the parlor. I was waiting for them but…" She trailed off as she pushed a large chair against the wall.

Everything was ready when people began to arriving. Felicity and Nan were greeting guests and taking coats at the door, William and Polly were in the kitchens with Rose eating their dinner, and Mrs. Merriman was in the parlor, helping the guests with their drinks. The only thing that wasn't going according to plan was the lack of men. Nearly all of Mother's guests walked into the Merriman's house with apologies, "My husband sent a message saying he'll be late, but he'll be here soon." Or "My son is on his way, you know how young men can get distracted."

Felicity wanted to wait for everyone to show up before the dancing started. She had no plans of explaining to anyone, but she was hoping to dance the minuet with Ben, but her mother said they were going to start the party with the guests they had.

Felicity watched the front door as each guest danced the minuet with one of the few men or boys present. When the last couple had danced Felicity gave up and stood up with Nan. Felicity felt slightly sorry for the few men who did show up on time, they danced for nearly two hours without stopping, constantly switching between all of the ladies in the room. Some of the women partnered up for the jigs and reels, which caused terrible confusion when everyone always expected the other to lead. It was hardly a traditional evening, but everyone had a good time.

Just before dinner Mr. Merriman came home accompanied by eight of the male party guests. He removed his coat and quickly walked across the room to his wife. Felicity watched them talk in hushed tones. Her mother looked surprised and worried when she looked up at Felicity.

The upbeat waltz and the smell of cinnamon filled the room, Nan was laughing as Mr. Deare lifted her off the ground while they danced, Fitchett was commenting on how good the punch tasted, but as she walked toward her mother Felicity was filled with dread.

"Where's Ben?"

"He's fine, Felicity." Her mother assured her, seeing the fear in her daughter's expression. Mother gave Father a questioning glance, he nodded and continued.

"Ben is having supper at Kings Arms tonight, Felicity. We shall talk more tomorrow."

Felicity was confused, "But, the party, he knew…"

"Ben would want you to enjoy the party." Mr. Merriman said in a tone that meant that they were finished with the conversation. "Let's eat supper," he finished in a calmer voice.

Felicity wasn't hungry for supper. The conversation blurred around her, even when the strawberry tarts that Felicity had been looking forward to all week were served she only poked at them with her fork. When Polly walked into the dinning room crying in her nightshift Felicity volunteered to take her back to bed. She tucked Polly in and laid on Nan's bed across the room, from there she could see out the window onto the front hall path. She watched for Ben until she could no longer keep her eyes open.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was before dawn the next morning, when Felicity awoke. She was surprised to find herself in Nan's bed, Polly still asleep on the other side of the room. It took a moment for her to remember why she was there. She laid back down thinking over last night's strange events. She was suddenly frustrated with herself for going to bed early, if she hadn't, she could have waited for Ben to come home, or at least asked her parents where he was once the guest's had gone. She didn't understand why he would miss the party, he knew it was important to her mother, and to her.

Lying there confused was enough to drive her crazy, so she decided she would go to the stables to see her horses. Riding had a way of clearing her head, and Ben slept in the stables, so if he was awake, she could ask where he'd been.

She snuck back into her own room, careful not to wake her sister, who was asleep in her bed, and quickly got dressed. She quietly walked down the stairs and was almost to the door when something sitting on the dining room table caught her attention. Something about the stack of papers made her suddenly nervous, she knew it was late when the guests left, she could see no reason why everyone would stay awake to read the newspaper.

On top was a copy of _The Pennsylvania Gazette,_dated December 29th. The Headline read _Across the Delaware!_ and the two articles beneath told that General George Washington had ambushed British forces in Trenton, New Jersey. The next paper _The Maryland__ Daily Intelligencer_ wasdated January 4th, with the headline _Victory in Princeton!_ She read that Washington had finally won a battle. The war had started again.

Felicity's hand was trembling as she picked up the single page that she had not yet read.

_Enlistment in Virginia's Third Regiment of the Continental Army_.

_Private Benjamin Davidson, hereby, commits one year's service and loyalty to the Continental Army of the United States of America._

Her eyes filled with tears, blurring the rest of the page, but she could see the bottom of the contract was already signed by Ben, with her father as his witness.

Ben had been talking about joining the Army since they had met, but Felicity was shocked that it was really happening. She dropped the paper onto the table and ran to get Penny. She just wanted to ride. Hoping that, maybe, when she came home everything would make sense again.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ben hadn't brought many belongings when he came to Williamsburg from his home in Yorktown. Now he was finding it difficult to decide how to narrow down his small wardrobe to things he could carry on his person.

He'd decided to wear his, now ruined, Sunday breeches. He told himself he didn't know why, but he knew when she wore them something wonderful had happened, and he thought maybe he would be able to share in their luck.

He packed an extra shirt, letters from his parents, and his father's pocket knife into his satchel and was nearly ready to get into bed when there was a knock on his door.

Before he realized it was her she threw herself, crying, into his arms. For a moment he was too surprised to respond. He couldn't help thing she was too old to be running around in only her nightshift as he tentatively wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

She hadn't spoken to him in four days. The morning after he enlisted, she was gone when he'd woken up. Felicity was prone to early morning rides, so no one worried. Mr. and Mrs. Merriman explained Ben's plans to the younger children over breakfast. Nan was worried, and William was fascinated, while Ben answered their questions. When they heard the front door open Mrs. Merriman called "Lissie, please join us in the dinning room, we'd like to talk with you." The only response she gave was the slamming the front door, stomping up the stairs and then slamming the door to her bedchamber.

"She must have seen the papers on the table." Mr. Merriman sighed. "We have to open the store, let's give her the day to calm down and we will talk to her tonight."

When Ben got back from the store that night she had already gone up to bed. Mrs. Merriman said that Felicity had hardly said a word to anyone, going to lessons and doing chores all day.

Felicity continued to be wherever Ben wasn't until that morning at church. Where even though they were closed in the same box pew she sat on the opposite side of her parents and neither looked at, nor spoke to him.

He did not want to leave in the morning without saying goodbye to her. Despite being six years his junior, she had become his best friend in Williamsburg. He was going to miss her. They had a way of leveling each other's quick tempers, while supporting each other at the same time. But when she simply refused to talk to him he couldn't understand what she was thinking, and he didn't know what to do.

"Felicity, what's wrong?" He asked quietly.

"Don't go," she sobbed, "please, don't leave."

"Lissie, _shh,_ listen." He guided her backwards and she sat down on the bed, he picked up a blanket and draped it over her shoulders. She immediately pulled the corner to her face and used it as a makeshift handkerchief. "I must, everything is set. I have to go."

"No, no, you can't." She cried, "Tell them you changed your mind, or have Father say he needs you as an apprentice. I thought you liked being my father's apprentice, I thought you were happy here."

"Felicity," He pulled his desk chair to the side of the bed and sat in front of her so their knees were barely touching. He reached for her hand. "I do like being here, and I admire your father greatly. I would love to have a life like his, a business, children," he paused and looked down at his hands, "and a wife. Someday, but we can't always have everything we want, sometimes we can only follow one desire at a time.

"If I say I changed my mind, I'll be deserter, I'll be court marshaled. And your father was there when I enlisted. I have another contract with him, saying I'll finish my apprenticeship when I return."

"What if…" She stopped and took a shaky breath, "if you _don't_ return." She was staring at him with her green eyes wide and filled with tears.

He nodded slowly. "Felicity, listen." He said gently. "I was five years old when the British passed the Stamp Act. One of my first memories is sitting on my father's lap, while he and his friends spoke against the British. Since then things have only gotten worse, and worse. You are the one, who told me a promise is something we make with ourselves. My entire life I swore to my self I would fight for our new country. There was never a question, never a choice for me. I understand that it is dangerous, that I may not return, but freedom is worth the risk."

"What is freedom worth if you die?"

"If any thing happens to me, then I am fighting for you, and for your children, and their children, so that you can have freedom, and_ that_ is worth my death. We march out just after dawn, nothing will change my mind."

Felicity nodded, not looking at him. She wrapped the blanket tighter around her shaking body as she stood and walked toward the door. "Felicity," he said, and he heard her stop. "May I write you while I am away?" He turned around to face her, there were tears running down her freckled cheeks. She nodded, and he stood letting her cry into his shoulder.

"I'll do everything in my power to come home, that's the best promise I can make right now." He said after a moment, "you should go back to bed."

She wished him goodnight in a teary voice, and he told her to have pleasant dreams. The next morning Ben left eating a muffin Mrs. Merriman had made for his breakfast, while Felicity, with her tear stained cheeks, still slept wrapped in the blanket from his bed.

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	2. Chapter One

Notes and Disclaimer: Ok, this chapter contains ALL of the OCs that are going to be in this story, there are four, some more important than others, please don't let that be a turn off. All characters are owned by The Pleasant Company.

**More Than This **

An _American Girl: Felicity _Fanfiction

By: DaggerQuill

**Chapter One**

September 1781

"Miss Merriman, you are out of control. How many glasses of punch have you had?"

Felicity's laughter mingled with the music floating in from the ballroom and the mixed sound filled the small parlor. "Six? Seven? I can't seem to remember, _Mister_ Stratton. This is my last ball before I go home at the end of next week, are you truly going to deny me anything?"

"Of course not," Nathaniel promised taking her waist and spinning her, causing bits of her red hair to tumble out of it the many pins keeping it piled atop her head.

After he released her she continued spinning, landing unceremoniously onto the sofa. "Has anyone seen Elizabeth?" She asked.

"I haven't seen Elizabeth, nor my brother, for at least half of an hour now." Andrew replied with a grin.

"And I'm sure wherever you find Henry, Elizabeth won't be far." Nathaniel added.

"I think they were talking about us." Elizabeth pretended to whisper into the ear of the tall man standing next to her in the arched entryway to the parlor.

"Elizabeth, you look positively flushed!" exclaimed Felicity, moving over to make room for her friend on the sofa.

Despite the fact that their dresses were _not _made for sitting on sofas, the girls managed to both lounge on opposite ends with their legs and skirts tangled in the middle.

"'Tis getting chilly outside, there may not be much time left for evening walks this year." Elizabeth noted.

"There is no time for evening walks when Mother doesn't know where you are." Her sister Annabelle scolded, suddenly appearing in the doorway. "She's been looking for you for nearly an hour."

"I told father where I was going!"

Henry blushed. "Lady Lacey," he said in a serious tone "I am dearly sorry if I caused your family any distress. Please, allow me to come and apologize to your mother."

Elizabeth couldn't stop grinning. Felicity held back her giggle until Henry made his way down the hall.

"He loves you," Felicity teased.

"He hasn't _said _that!" Elizabeth protested, still smiling.

"What _has _he said?" Felicity asked leaning toward her friend.

"_Ahem." _Annabelle said from the doorway, "Miss Felicity, such talk is most unbecoming of a lady. You should be in the ballroom, finding _yourself_ a suitable match. I don't know what you're thinking, hiding in here with these two. You're bound to ruin your reputation."

"Her reputation?" said Andrew, "Her reputation doesn't matter, no one out there is going to marry a _Patriot!_"

"Hardly anyone out there _knows _she is a "patriot,"Mr. Lockwood. And maybe if she married into a suitable family, she would become less opinionated about her political views."

"Come now, Andrew," said Nathaniel, "don't get all 'long live King George' on us. You have never set foot in England. You know no matter what the outcome of this revolution, our inheritances are here, neither you, nor I, nor your brother, have any plans of leaving the colonies."

"I have no desire to return to England." Elizabeth agreed. "I was a child when we left; I have no connections, no business there."

"Bitsy!" Annabelle snapped. "That's enough. You should go out there and apologize to mother too."

"Yes, Lady Bananabelle." Elizabeth said making an over exaggerated curtsy before leaving the room.

Andrew crossed the room and gave Annabelle an understanding pat on the hand "It's alright Lady Lacey, we all know the Felicity has her _soldier _that she intends on marrying, anyway."

Annabelle glared at him as her face turned a strange shade of red. It hadn't taken long for Andrew and Nathaniel to notice that even though she was married now, Annabelle always managed to pay close attention if Ben came up in a conversation.

"Oh stop it, Andrew!" Felicity said, her face also turning red.

"We heard a rumor, Miss. Felicity, that you keep a letter from him with you at all times. Is that true?" Nathaniel teased.

"No, it's not!" Felicity insisted, blushing furiously.

"Do you have the latest one right now? Let's hear it!" Andrew commanded with a playful grin.

Annabelle was beginning to look angry now. "Mr. Lockwood, what right do you have to ask her to read her personal letters aloud? Really, have you forgotten all of your manners?"

"I think I'll join Elizabeth." Felicity said shortly as she stomped out of the parlor. She hadn't told any of them that there was no latest letter. The last one she had gotten came within the first month she had arrived in New York. She could kill Elizabeth for telling the boys that she _sometimes_ carried Ben's letter in her pockets, she would have know they would only tease her mercilessly with that information.

The purple evening gown she was wearing required full hoops and had no openings for pockets, so instead of going to the ball room she quietly went up stairs to retrieve the letter from the drawer of her bedside table. Despite the fact that she had memorized it over a year ago, she read the letter to herself.

_ 4/26/1780_

_Dear Lissie, _

_I'm glad to hear that business it picking up and that your father needs more help in the store, but I'm not sure what you meant when you wrote that his new apprentice "irks" you. If he is truly making you feel uncomfortable, please promise me you will tell your father, but don't judge the boy too quickly, I remember you saying you didn't much care for me when we first met either. If you do become friends with him you must also promise not to forget about me, I will be back to finish my contract with your father. _

_I have been in Charleston for nearly a month. Despite the long march it took to get here it feels wonderful to be closer to home, and to be rid of the freezing northern winters. _

_The British have the city under siege. We have been engaged in many small skirmishes and have lost many of men. This battle is far from over but I sill have hope that this will be where we win this war, and then I will come home. _

_Until then, I remain your dear friend,_

_Ben_

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ben Davidson stopped on the street and simply stared at Edward Merriman's store. He hadn't been in Williamsburg since he joined the army. Now his regiment was on its way to Yorktown for what the rumors were saying is going to be quite a large battle. The Officers told them they would only be spending a few hours in the city, just time to find some supper before the final leg of their march.

He felt that he needed a moment to gather himself before entering. A man who he considered his mentor and a second father was inside that store and he worried if he went in he may never want to leave. And there was a possibility who else might be working in the store.

Ben had always been a quiet man, and despite their closeness before he left, he had no idea how he would act if he were to see Felicity today. The thought that his dear friend might not only be yards away from him, but also five years older than the eleven year old girl he left, made him suddenly nervous.

However, when he entered he found none of his second family. Instead he found the store looking an absolute mess, with the mornings shipments still piled by the door and a boy Ben had never seen before behind the counter reading a newspaper. "Can I help you?" he asked in a bored voice without looking up.

"I'm here to see Mr. Merriman."

"He's not here; he'll be at his plantation for a few days. My name is Timothy, is there anything I can help you with?" He said in monotone while still reading.

"Is Marcus here?" The boy finally looked up from his paper with a confused look. He seemed startled to see Ben, standing in his uniform.

"No he also when to the plantation, one of the horses is expecting a foal and on top of the harvest they needed the extra help." Ben was disappointed, despite his worries it would have been so nice to catch up with everyone.

"Oh, and I assume all the family is at the plantation?"

"With the exception of Miss Felicity, she has been in New York for over a year now."

"New York? Has she married?" Ben asked, realizing for the first time that it was possible that Felicity, with her dirty petticoats and hair falling in her face could be someone's wife.

"No. She is staying with friends."

"Who?"

"A Miss Cole, apparently she used to live in Williamsburg but I never met her. You know Miss Merriman?" Ben nodded and began to say 'Yes" but the boy continued talking. "She's beautiful, isn't she? Wouldn't give me the time of day though. She doesn't trust me, just like her father. It's amazing he left me alone in the store, really. Everyone in town has such high opinion of him but he's really a wrenched man to work for. I'm pretty sure she went away because of me, and he probably helped her pack her bags."

Before Ben could reply the door to the shop opened and a group of soldiers walked in, the boy looked annoyed at the sight of real customers.

"Davidson! There you are!" One of them exclaimed "We've been looking for you, were all heading down to this tavern down the road, the apothecary said they serve amazing seafood. Are you coming or did you find that girl you're always writing to?"

"So, Ben, this is your store?" The boy was unenthusiastically helping another solider, but he suddenly had a look of realization cross his face, which began to turn red.

"Yes, but it seems the family is out of town, so I can join you for the meal." As he was walking out Ben added to the boy "I might suggest taking care of all these new shipments. Mr. Merriman might not be such wretched employer to an apprentice who keeps the store clean."

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	3. Chapter Two

**More Than This **

An _American Girl: Felicity _Fanfiction

By: DaggerQuill

**Chapter Two**

January 1782

Returning to Williamsburg was different this time, knowing he would be staying. The streets and houses didn't have the same feeling that they did in his nostalgic memories. He saw people he remembered outdoors enjoying the sunny afternoon, but they had changed. Emily Mitchell, a girl around his age, was large with child, Mrs. Conrad had much more gray in her hair, and Mr. Fulton did not have any of his left. As he approached the gate of the place he remembered most, the house in which he became a man, he saw a girl working in the garden. She had changed entirely, her red hair had grown long and was tied with a light blue ribbon that matched her dress, her cream colored skin was scattered with light freckles. Despite not having seen her in years he immediately recognized her.

"Miss Polly Merriman?" He asked with tip his hat.

"Yes, Hello." She greeted in a sweet voice that made Ben smile.

"I'm here to see your father, is he home?"

"No, he is working at his store, my mother is inside if you would like to speak with --"

"Polly, who are you talking to?" Felicity's voice asked before he saw her walking out of the barn. For a moment Ben couldn't breathe, she was just as he remembered her, except, grown up, and extraordinarily beautiful.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"You know better than to talk to -" She continued, until she looked up and saw the man standing before her. She suddenly wished that her stays were not tied so tightly, then maybe she wouldn't feel so dizzy. She couldn't help but stare at him.

"Good day Miss. Felicity." He said tipping his hat.

Some part of her brain knew it was improper, ungentlewomanly, but Felicity was never good at listening to that part of her brain anyway. Without hesitation she ran into Ben's arms.

"Mother! Mother!" Felicity heard her sisters call but didn't really comprehend it. She felt a familiar comfort, but at the same time a swooping sensation as if she had fallen off one of her horses.

"What's wrong, darling?" asked Mrs. Merriman coming down the front steps. At the sound of Mrs. Merriman's voice Ben let go of Felicity and they each took quick steps away from one another. Felicity could feel her cheeks burning bright pink, but neither of them dared to look up.

"This man showed up and embraced Felicity!" Polly reported. Felicity stole a glance at her mother; she appeared confused, but also a bit amused.

"Well who is this man who is showing up and embracing my daughters?" Mrs. Merriman asked, with laughter in her voice.

"He didn't say, but he knew our names." Polly said matter-of-factly.

William stomped onto the porch slamming the door behind him, "Mother Nan was demanding I help her with the laundry! Tell her I don't have—" he stopped abruptly, "Who's he?" he asked bluntly.

"Oh!" Ben said looking up. Please excuse me for not announcing my self, or writing to say when I would arrive. I am back to finish my contract with Mr. Merriman."

"Oh, of course, and Ben you don't need to apologize, you are always welcome here!" Mrs. Merriman said, hugging the young man in a warm, motherly way. "Do you remember Ben? He was your father's apprentice when you were young." She asked William.

"Ugh, the only apprentice I remember is Timothy, and if he is back then _I'm_ leaving this time." William said with a scowl.

"Me too!" Polly chimed in.

"I'm sure you'll want to talk with Edward. Felicity was just getting ready to go to the store; she can walk there with you." Mrs. Merriman said, turning back to Ben. "But first let's get you settled in; William will help you carry your bags up to the loft. I'm sorry we don't have a nicer place to put you, Ben."

"He can have my room! I'll stay out in the stables!" William volunteered excitedly.

"That's not necessary at all, I've slept in much worse places than stables, I would be honored to say in yours."

"Like where?" William asked eagerly as he shouldered Ben's bag.

"Well there was one night we were staying near a swamp, then it began to storm, so the ground…"he said as he walked away.

"_I _was supposed to go with Lissie!" Polly protested, after the boys walked away. "I wanted to ride Penny!"

"Lissie can take you riding after she gets back. She and Ben need to go together and catch up." Mother said giving Felicity a fluttering feeling in her stomach. "You can wash up and then help Nan and I make a pie to celebrate Ben's return, alright?"

"Okay!" Polly instantly agreed and ran inside, her mother following behind.

Felicity's head was spinning. _Ben _was home. Seeing him made her realize how long he'd been gone. She understood for the first time they way the years pass, the way they bring things and take others away. She spent so much time wondering if she would ever see him again, and now he was back.

Felicity was supposed to bring Penny to her Father this afternoon, so he could make a delivery. Felicity went back into the barn to finish saddling her, but her fingers stumbled through the usually thoughtless motions.

She had only just finished when he came down stairs. "Are you ready?" she asked politely.

"Of course, if you are." He responded with a smile which made her blush as they headed out to the dusty street.

"It's quite warm for January." He commented after they had walked past a few houses.

"Yes," she said, "it is very nice, isn't it" she added lamely. She looked over at him to see if he was going to say anything else, but he didn't.

Felicity had never been a quiet girl, and she and Ben had been so close before he had left. She was stunned that as they walked side by side she couldn't think of one thing to say to him. He had been through a war and she had spent six years ridding horses, learning dances, and flirting at parties, she felt that anything she would have to say would be of absolutely no interest to him. Ben, of course, had always been shy and she was unsurprised that when he glanced at her still staring at him he quickly adverted his gaze.

There was no denying he was different, he was taller and Felicity suddenly found herself wondering if he had always been this handsome, or if their time apart had improved him. Annabelle had always said he was a handsome lad, perhaps Felicity had simply been too young to notice. He had always been serious, it led to his quietness and made him a hard worker and a loyal friend, but now there was a loss of innocence in his eyes which was replaced by a solemnness that she knew she would never understand.

"I missed this." He said suddenly.

"What?" She asked without thinking. She then saw that he was looking straight at her, with a tender look in his eyes, but her confusion seemed to have a discouraging effect.

"Well…" He stammered. "Williamsburg, The people, the streets, the store---" And there they were standing in front of her fathers store. He would take Ben to the back room to discuss important business and she would just head back home without having said more than five words to him.

So much for her mothers little plan.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Dinner on the night of Ben's arrival turned out to be just as awful for Felicity as their walk that afternoon. She simply sat there, silent, picking at her food, while everyone was oblivious to her subdued behavior.

He talked with her parents and her younger siblings. He seemed captivated by Polly, and William spent the entire meal asking Ben questions with a look of fascination. He answered them all, but she could see that there were parts of each of his stories that he wasn't telling. Ben had always been honest, and even though she knew why he was doing it, his slight dishonestly upset her.

The few times she did think he was going to address her he would suddenly find something very interesting anywhere else in the room, like the new dinning table or how much William and Polly had grown in six years.

She had excused herself directly after the meal and went up to bed, where she lay awake miserably thinking that their childhood friendship had only been that, and was now ruined.

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	4. Chapter Three

Notes and Disclaimer: Hey guys, thanks for all of the reviews and the support, sorry updates have been kind of sporadic, I've been traveling all over this summer but now I'm pretty much home of good, hopefully I can make them more regular. Everything is owned by The Pleasant Company.

**More Than This **

An _American Girl: Felicity _Fanfiction

By: DaggerQuill

**Chapter Three**

Felicity woke before dawn the next morning. She quietly dressed and snuck out the back door, stopping in the kitchen to grab a large apple, which she nibbled on while she walked to the barn.

"Good morning, Penny girl." Felicity greeted her horse as she gave her the rest of the apple, while Penny chewed Felicity brushed her copper coat.

Felicity walked across the barn to retrieve Penny's saddle, blanket and bit and to feed the other horses. She was tightening the girth on Penny's saddle when she saw something out of the corner of her eye, then everything happened very quickly.

The mouse darted into the stall and ran up Penny's leg causing her to neigh loudly and rear back onto her hind legs. Felicity was thrown backwards onto the hay covered barn floor, and Penny's hoofs smashed into her trough, splitting the wood with a loud crack.

Before Felicity had lifted herself off the ground she heard a crash from the loft upstairs, a door being flung open, and someone running down the stairs.

"What's happened?" Ben demanded, appearing in front of Penny's stall, disoriented from being awoken suddenly, and wearing only a pair of hastily thrown on breeches.

"Penny was spooked by a mouse." Felicity said pushing herself onto her elbows. Ben blinked several times when he saw her on the ground, and then reached down to help her up.

"Are you alright?"

"Y- Yes," Felicity said while she tried not to stare at the scar that ran from his left shoulder to his right side, interrupting the well toned muscles of his chest. She quickly busied herself with calming Penny.

"Is it the middle of the night?" Ben asked after a moment.

"No, 'tis early in the morning, I was just taking Penny out for a ride." She explained keeping her attention on her horse.

"Would you like to borrow a pair of breeches?" He asked. She looked at him again, and saw a smile playing on his lips.

Felicity could feel herself blushing. "N- No," she stammered, smiling too, "I think I can manage without." She paused, her cheeks still pink. "Would you like to come?"

"Yes, if you would accept my company. Just allow me a moment to, umm, dress."

"Oh, of course! Felicity said blushing harder, "I'll prepare Patriot for you."

She walked past him to get another saddle from the opposite side of the barn. "Lissie!" Ben called after her. She stopped, and he stepped behind her. She suddenly overwhelmed by his sent, it was so familiar, but she had never experienced anything like the way it made her feel. "You have…" Ben said and she felt his fingers in her hair, then he reached over her shoulder to show her the hay he had pulled out. "I'll only be a moment." He said as he headed back upstairs.

~*~*~*~*~*~

After Ben got dressed he found Felicity waiting outside with Penny and Patriot, she smiled as she handed him the reigns. It was clearly morning now, the sky was becoming light gray, bright colors appearing on the horizon.

"You've always rode early in the morning, haven't you?" Ben asked once they mounted the horses.

"I guess I have. I began when I trained Penny, I'm sure you remember. Then the last summer my Grandfather was alive, the summer you ran away, he and I would go riding every morning and watch the sunrise. Then, when I was staying in New York, I liked to take Penny out in the morning, before everyone was awake. She reminded me of home and when it was just her and me I didn't have to worry about my every movement."

"What do you mean?"

"I was living with Elizabeth's family in upstate New York, it was just very different. All day it was curtsying, afternoon tea, dinner parties, and dances. Not that I am really complaining, most of the time I enjoyed myself, but everything was always so formal. It's one thing here where I was expected to have good manners when we were out or when we had company, but in New York house guests and neighbors were always around. Sitting in the drawing room was a social event, walking in the garden was a social event, but when I went riding with Penny I could just be myself."

"_You_ had trouble meeting the requirements of higher society?" He teased. Felicity glared, but ignored him.

"Everyone was absurdly rich. The Coles were one of the poorer families in the neighborhood, and they were _all_ loyalists." Ben got the feeling that Felicity had wanted to say all of this for awhile now, but didn't have an opportunity. "No one except for Lord Harry's family knew that my father was a shopkeeper, or that I was a patriot. Does that make you angry with me?"

"No." He said sincerely, although he didn't know why, he should be angry she was denying the belief that he had been fighting for. "Wait, Lord Harry?" Ben was confused, "Annabelle and Lord Harry never got married."

Felicity laughed, "They did, though. It's a strangely romantic story, actually. They didn't get married when Lord Harry joined the British army, which you knew, but he and Annabelle began writing to each other while he was away. Then in February of '80, he was in a battle, in Westchester County, and he was hurt, he lost his foot. He was furloughed and sent home. When he first saw her he was so ashamed, he told her he would understand if she never wanted to see him again. She told him that she would never want that, and then she proposed, right there. He was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel for his brave sacrifices, and given an office job in New York City, which allowed him to come home quite often. I heard this all from Elizabeth, or course, because I didn't go up until right before their wedding."

"And, why did you go up to New York?"

Felicity sighed. "The simple answer is that I went up for the wedding. That my dear school friend Annabelle was to be married and I had to be rushed north to be a bridesmaid."

"But, that's not true."

"Not really, no. Father hired a new apprentice, Timothy. He was the son of a very rich man from Richmond. He had gone to go to college, he didn't need an apprenticeship, but he was unbelievably spoiled, and his parents believed he needed to learn the value of a hard days work so they apprenticed him to father for two years. He - well, he was sweet on me, and he was very... persistent, and forward with me. Elizabeth and I had been writing since she left, so everyone decided it was best if I went to New York for Annabelle's wedding."

"He didn't," Ben faltered; anger was flooding his mind making it difficult to find a word that wouldn't offend, "hurt you, did he?"

"No," she said quickly. "He was always following me around, staring at me. When I went to take care of the horses he would watch me from the holes in the floor of the loft. It was like I couldn't escape him. I never wanted to be alone, even in my own house."

She shuddered with the memory, and he felt a sudden guilt that he had not been there to protect her. "I wrote you and told you all of this. Why didn't you ever write me back?" She asked in a quiet voice.

"I got a letter from you when I was marching to South Carolina, you spoke of Timothy, and I wrote you back, but I couldn't write after we got to Charleston."

"Why not?"

"The city was under siege, and we fought skirmishes there for nearly two months before we had to surrender. Then, while my company was retreating, we met with more redcoats and there was a battle. We surrendered, but they continued to come at us, with their bayonets, they didn't even have the decency to shoot at us."

Felicity interrupted him, "Is that how you got that scar, across…" She drew a diagonal line across her chest with her finger.

"Yes, it was a miracle someone noticed I was still breathing during the retreat. I was in the hospital in Charlotte for six months. When I got out, I made it to Richmond in time to reenlist when they reorganized the companies. We marched back down to the Carolina's and spent the entire spring and summer of '81 either marching or fighting. There was no time to write, nor any paper or supplies to use. In September, we marched back to Virginia, and I stopped at the store to see you."

"You were here?" Felicity asked, astonished.

"Yes, but the only person here was the wretched apprentice boy." Ben told her, sounding more spiteful than he'd intended. "The store was a mess, he was unhelpful to the customers, and he said awful things about you and your father, I could hardly stand it, but I had no choice but to leave, we were marching to Yorktown the same night. We were on reserve most of the time and I hardly even fought in the battle. And once the French arrived there was no question about how everything was going to end."

"If we were somehow back to the night that I came to your room and asked you not to join the army, would you make the same choice?"

"Yes," Ben said without hesitation. "Does that make you angry with me?"

"No. I would have been surprised if you'd said no." Ben wondered why she brought up such a painful night.

"I saw my family often while I was in Yorktown, and I started to realize how lucky I was to still be alive. I had seen years of cities being burned, people getting injured, and dying, but my family was together again, we were hardly affected. It made me realize that I needed to move toward something different in my life."

"I don't understand, I thought our new country was what you've always wanted?"

"It still is something I want, but the war is over, Felicity, not officially yet, but I truly feel I saw it through to the end. And now, I am two and twenty years old and still an apprentice. By the time your father was my age he had a shop, a wife, a daughter and another on the way. I never planned of having a _life _after the war."

"Delaying your apprenticeship was _your_ choice, Benjamin Davidson!"

"Yes, but it was _your_ idea if I recall."

"It was," she said simply. He could hear her tone becoming defensive. "And, I remember _you _being more than grateful for it. I was only a child then, how was I to know you would resent it seven years later?"

He hadn't meant to upset her, he softened his tone. "I don't regret it, Felicity. Coming back was always my plan, the thought of it kept me fighting, kept me alive." She was staring at him, her eyes wide and mouth slightly opened. In that moment he realized how many things he would never be able to tell her, how many things he would never be able to fully explain.

"I just never expected coming home to feel this strange. I think I expected to be eighteen again, and you still to be twelve. I thought I could just pick up where I left off, with everything, not just my apprenticeship. I thought I would know exactly what I would do when the war was over."

"You'll finish your contract with my father, and after that you'll do whatever you decide, isn't that the freedom that you were fighting for?"

"Aye," He smiled at her. "How is it that you always know exactly what to say?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She said with a grin, as she turned Penny around to head home.

When they arrived back at the house Ben could smell breakfast waiting for them from the kitchens. He rode ahead of her once they were in sight of the barn, earning himself a questioning look as he passed. He quickly dismounted Patriot and offered his hand to help her down.

"Will you join me tomorrow?" She asked as they climbed the porch steps.

"I would be honored." Ben answered, holding open the front door.


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes and Disclaimer: **Has anyone else noticed they are giving a way American Girl happy meal toys at McDo (This is slang I picked up in France) right now? They are books and PAPER DOLLS! Maybe this says something about how old I am, but when I was little I played with paper dolls ALL THE TIME, haha. I normally wouldn't support McDonald's, but if they are supporting reading and AG, I'm all about it, everyone go buy a happy meal! Felicity and her stories are property of Pleasant Company "find your inner star!" (I'm pretty sure they own that catch phrase too.)

**More Than This **

An _American Girl: Felicity _Fanfiction

By: DaggerQuill

**Chapter Four**

Over the next few months the Merriman household fell into a comfortable routine.

After breakfast, Father and Ben would go to work in the store. William would get his books and head to grammar school, complaining every morning, while Felicity reminded him, every morning, that when she was his age she would have given anything to be allowed to go to school. Nan and Felicity spent their mornings at lessons with Miss Manderly. Miss Manderley never failed to comment on how improved Felicity has been since her return from New York, which always annoyed Nan, who was much better at activities in lessons, and actually enjoyed them.

But before breakfast Ben and Felicity went riding.

When Felicity arrived at the barn Ben would be waiting and together they would feed and water the horses, saddle Penny and Patriot, and ride out into the approaching dawn.

They spent each sunrise discussing whatever they happened to be thinking, sharing stories, debating philosophies, expressing their frustrations, or simply talking about how they spent their days, everything without formality or hesitation. Other days they would ride together in a comfortable silence, enjoying each others company.

It was the consistency of it that Felicity truly treasured. The fact that Ben would be the first person she saw, every morning; the knowledge that her first words of the day would be with him and his with her. Even though she knew it was silly she felt both honored and humbled by a feeling that he had chosen her to begin his days with.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Felicity, would you mind coming to the store and helping Ben and I this afternoon?" Mr. Merriman asked his daughter one day during supper.

"We received a huge shipment in this morning, but we've been so busy, we haven't had anytime to put any of it away." Ben explained, "We could really use your help."

"Warm weather makes people want to shop, I've noticed." Mr. Merriman joked.

Of course she immediately agreed. Mr. Merriman shook his head at his daughter's willingness, but Ben knew that Felicity loved working in her father's store, and that she would much rather spend the afternoon working with her father there than at home doing chores with her mother.

As soon as they reopened the store, people began arriving and all three of them went to assist to various customers. A few hours later, Widow Reed was the only person in the store, talking with Mr. Merriman at the counter; Felicity had gone to the back to rearrange the store room. Ben was standing on a ladder near the door stocking bags of flour, when two young men entered the store.

They were nearly identical at first glance. They both had brown hair and were dressed similarly, very nicely, with silk stockings and shoes with silver buckles. They both looked slightly disheveled and had unmistakable British accents.

"Are we really going to do this?" One of them asked as they walked trough the door. As Ben watched them retreat to a corner of the store he noticed that the man who spoke was slightly shorter, his hair was lighter and curlier, and that his eyes were brown.

"She's here! I can see her through that door." The taller, blue eyed man said excitedly.

"That's even better!" The first one said tipping his hat to Widow Reed as she walked out the door with a smile that Ben found a little _too_ charming. "Mr. Edward Merriman?" He asked striding to toward the counter.

"Yes, can I help you, mister…?"

"My name is Nathaniel Stratton, and this is my dear friend Mr. Andrew Lockwood. We have come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage."

Ben was so surprised he dropped the bag of flour he was holding, it landed on the floor with a _thump _that split the seams of the bag, freeing the white powder to float up and make Ben cough.

When the cloud that had surrounded him cleared, he saw Felicity calmly grinning, standing in the doorway to the storeroom with one boy hanging off each hand.

Mr. Stratton fell to his knees "You must understand," he said, "we both penned letters asking for her hand on the same day."

"After much quarreling," Mr. Lockwood continued between the loud sloppy kisses he was trailing up Felicity's arm, "we decided to come here and let Miss Merriman decide for herself."

"If you wish, lovely Felicity, we shall duel, and the survivor will be the winner of your heart!" said Mr. Stratton

"This may be the best solution, for we both have declared that the one who is not chosen shall take his own life out of despair!" Mr. Lockwood declared.

"Oh my!" Felicity cried. Her small grin seeming far to composed for such a bizarre situation. "I surely do not want either of you dead! So then, I suppose I'll have to marry both of you."

"What a wonderful plan!" Mr. Stratton exclaimed.

"Oh, Miss Merriman, we knew you would have the perfect solution! Nathaniel, she can live with you on the weekends and with me on the weekdays."

"That gives you one extra day each week!"

"Hmm," Mr. Lockwood pondered. "'Tis true. We shall simply rotate each week, with exceptions for certain special occasions.'

"On second thought," Mr. Stratton said to Mr. Lockwood after a moment of thought. "She is entirely altered since I last saw her. Look at her in such a simple dress, hair sticking out of a mob cap. Suddenly, she _looks _like a shopkeeper's daughter!"

Ben could not believe what he was hearing. First they barged into his store with an absurd proposal, and now they had the audacity to insult her! He climbed down the ladder, not taking is eyes off Felicity.

"I agree." Mr. Lockwood continued. "Think of the gossip that will spread from the haste of our journey, my family does not need that kind of disgrace. I must think of my brother, and his lovely new fiancée."

Felicity's face, which until this moment had displayed an expression of pure amusement, fell in shock for one moment then, became reanimated with a gasp and a brilliant smile.

"I knew it!" She giggled.

"I'm sure you will want to read the first hand account." Mr. Lockwood smiled, rolling his eyes as he handed Felicity a thick letter.

Mr. Stratton turned to Felicity's father, "Please excuse our little joke, Mr. Merriman. I'm sure Miss Merriman understands we meant no offence, we hope you can do the same." He held out his hand which Mr. Merriman, though still bewildered, lightly shook. As Mr. Stratton pulled his back, Felicity, still immersed in her letter, handed him a piece of rock candy from the jar near her, and helped her self to one as well. "Thank you, Felicity." He added sounding pleased.

"Our true business involves the recent engagement of my elder brother, Henry, to Miss Elizabeth Cole. We are headed to North Carolina to prepare my family's plantation where they will inherit and live come fall." Mr. Lockwood explained.

"Our secondary task brings us here today." Mr. Stratton continued, "Miss Cole insists that Miss Felicity be present at the wedding. Of course your entire family is invited, however it is understood that it is a long distance for you to travel. So, with your permission, we have been sent to escort Miss Felicity to New York. We have letters from Lord Harry Lacey, Andrew's esteemed father Mr. David Lockwood and Mr. Cole speaking on our behalf."

"We assure you, Mr. Merriman, despite our childish mischief we are truly fond of your daughter and promise to keep her safe. After the wedding my brother and Miss Cole will be traveling to the plantation, and they will see Miss Felicity safely home."

"Oh, Father!" Felicity begged, "You must say yes! And I must see Annabelle too!"

Ben wondered if he'd fallen off the ladder along with the flour bags, and hit is head.

"Why?" Mr. Merriman asked.

"Oh!" Mr. Stratton laughed "I assure you _don't_ really want to. Her, um, condition has done absolutely nothing to improve her moods."

"She's a nightmare. Half the reason we came to help with the house was in hopes that when we returned it would all be over."

"Can you imagine how much fun it could be to tease a gigantic, even grumpier Bannabelle?"

"Felicity," Mr. Lockwood warned his tone serious, "if you did, she really might kill you."

"I am beyond determined. Father, please?"

"I shall have to speak with your mother on the matter. You gentlemen are staying the night in town, I assume?"

"You can come for dinner, and stay with us!" Felicity offered excitedly.

"Our sincerest apologies Mr. Merriman, but we are far behind schedule," Mr. Lockwood cut her off, giving Mr. Stratton a poorly hidden dirty look, "and we must be on our way at once."

"But if you would have us, we would be honored to stay a night with you, in a fortnight on our return journey."

"Of course we will have you," Mr. Merriman said with a bow. "We shall see you in a fortnight."

"Oh, I must walk with you to the end of town!" She said latching onto one arm of each boy and sweeping them out of the store.

"Well." said Mr. Merriman with an amused grin as he watched them huddle together as they walked down Duke of Gloucester.

"She didn't finish restocking the store room." Ben said in a flat voice, his mind still reeling.

"Is that what you are concerned about? I didn't know it was possible for anyone to be more surprised than I was with what those boys proposed, but I'm not the one with a bag of flour to clean up." Mr. Merriman laughed raising his eyebrows at his apprentice.

"You're not going to let her go with them, are you?"

"After she returned she spoke of them often. She also spoke of the fact that she found no worthy prospects in New York, so there really is nothing for you to worry about, Ben."

Ben didn't know why Mr. Merriman would say such a thing, he could feel his cheeks redden at the idea "'Tis not what I meant, I was only thinking…"

"They were close friends, and I think they are to be trusted, but I shall read these letters, and of course I need to speak with Mrs. Merriman." He concluded, handing Ben the broom which he took numbly, vaguely aware that he was wishing for Felicity to return.

Please Review!


	6. Chapter Five

Notes and Disclaimer: So, I had a minor panic/ internal debate right before I posted this chapter about if the boys should have gone to Yale or not, I was consoled by my sister, who gave me this advice "I think they should go to Yale. Some strapping young Yale men, it just sounds manly" so I couldn't disagree with that. Plus it works with the Stratton thing, has anyone gotten that reference? Characters belong to the Pleasant Company.

**More Than This **

An _American Girl: Felicity _Fanfiction

By: DaggerQuill

**Chapter Five**

Nan could not believe this was happening. With nothing more than a few letters and one meal, her parents were going to decide whether her sister would be safe traveling with these two _boys. _As if her parents hadn't made their decision_ before_ Mr. Lockwood and Mr. Stratton arrived, they had managed to completely charm them in less than ten minutes.

She couldn't understand why. They had arrived an hour and a half late, and yes, they were polite and eloquent, but Mr. Lockwood stared at her while she was introducing herself and they practically ran to the dining room the moment it was announced that the food was ready.

While everyone was being seated there was a terribly awkward exchange between Mr. Stratton, who was seated on Nan's side of the table and Mr. Lockwood, who for a reason he wouldn't explain, also wanted to be, despite the open chair right next to him. This lack of candidness was very different for the rest of the evening, where it seemed they had no reservation about any subject.

"We started in the same dormitory at Yale." Mr. Stratton told them, "but soon enough the faculty began their four year challenge to keep us separate as often as possible."

"An unsuccessful effort, I'm assuming." Her Father laughed.

"Usually," Mr. Lockwood agreed, "but they did best us once or twice, didn't they Nathaniel."

Mr. Stratton laughed, "The night with the vinegar and the fireworks?" Mr. Lockwood nodded with a coy smile and Felicity, who had apparently heard the story, snorted into her wine.

"What did you study at Yale?" Mother asked.

"I studied business," Nathaniel said. "I am an only child, and am to someday take over my family's affairs. Andrew was trained for the church, an occupation which he never intends to pursue."

"Why ever not, Mr. Lockwood?" Nan asked.

Mr. Lockwood seemed startled but pleased that she had addressed him. "It seems such a banal occupation." He said with a smirk.

"I think it is completely admirable." Nan disagreed, causing his grin to instantly fall.

"Well," he faltered, "Perhaps someday. Your sister loves to tell me that _someday_ I will settle down completely, with my parish and my slippers and be happy somehow. For now that is simply not a life for me."

"Andrew and Nathaniel have vowed never to get married, but I know better; they'll change their minds." Felicity announced.

Father laughed loudly at the comment. "Why, my dear girl, is that?" he asked.

"Felicity!" Nathaniel scolded. Ben had been at the table for the entire meal, but seemed to have only been brought to the present by Mr. Stratton's slightly harsh tone. "There is no need for this tonight."

"Andrew cannot let an afternoon pass with out changing his waistcoat, so finding a person to spend the rest of his life with would be next to impossible. And Nathaniel," Felicity continued, smiling triumphantly at him while he glared back at her. "Nathaniel has declared that he is too much of a rogue for marriage."

"I plan on squandering my inheritance away on drinking and at the poker tables. The only honorable intention I can manage is to not disappoint some poor girl who gets stuck with me." Mr. Stratton said, his voice light but his cheeks were burning red.

Nan looked around the table, her younger siblings were clearly tired and uninterested, but Felicity and her parents were laughing uncontrollably. Ben's baffled expression matched exactly what Nan was thinking. Her sister was parading with these children disguised as gentleman, and her parents seemed to love them.

After supper William had been asked to take Polly up to bed, while everyone else went to the parlor for drinks, which their guests were very quick to accept. They spent the evening listening the boys tell stories of their time at University, where apparently their nonsense was very commonplace. Once the fire began to die down Mrs. Merriman proposed that it was time to retire for the night.

"Mr. Stratton, Mr. Lockwood, please let me take you upstairs, you will sleep in Nan and Polly's room, if that's alright with you."

"Of course, that's perfect, thank you, Mrs. Merriman. I hadn't noticed how late it was, and think we're leaving early tomorrow morning." Mr. Lockwood said.

"Early?" Ben said suddenly, speaking for the first time that night.

"They think anything before noon is early." Felicity told him rolling her eyes. "We're leaving _after breakfast_."

"_After breakfast,_" Ben smiled. "Well then, Goodnight Lissie."

Nan saw Mr. Stratton and Mr. Lockwood's heads snapped around to face each other. '_Lissie?' _Mr. Lockwood mouthed dramatically. Nan couldn't keep her exasperation silent as she set her sampler on the table and went up to bed.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"You are really going with them?" Nan asked the moment she closed the door behind them.

"Of course I am, I have to go and see Elizabeth's wedding. They're my friends Nan, please try and get along with them." Felicity said with a smile. "Come with us tonight?"

"Tonight!?"

"They haven't had a proper tour of Williamsburg." Felicity said with a girn.

"Felicity, 'tis already past midnight!" Nan protested.

"So, 'tis not like they've never seen the inside of a wigmakers or tailors. We're just going for a walk. I have a feeling Andrew would like nothing better. He seemed captivated by you at supper."

Felicity was shocked to hear Nan made a noise of disgust.

"Nan! You can't be rude!"

"I can be polite toward him, but honestly did you hear them going on at supper?"

"They can be silly, but they are absolutely wonderful. Please come?"

"Is the younger Miss Merriman joining us this evening?" Mr. Stratton whispered, the boys entering Felicity's bedchamber with no warning.

"Please, Nan. It's my last night home." Felicity begged.

"Oh, yes, Miss Merriman, we would love your company." Andrew said in an excessively sincere tone.

"I, no. I have to go to bed. I have lessons in the morning, and, I… I can't."

Felicity pulled her aside. "If you stay, you won't say anything to Mother or Father or … or anyone else, will you?"

Nan was surprised, and nearly offended, at the same time she wondered if Felicity was more worried about their parents finding out or the 'anyone else' she had referred too. "Of course not! I may not approve, but I won't get you into trouble."

"Thank you, Nan. Are you sure you won't come. It really will be a good time."

Nan glanced at Andrew, who even without hearing their conversation was looking at her expectantly. "I'm sure." She said in a decisive voice.

"Alright." Felicity agreed, kissing her sister on the top of her head and walking softly toward the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Felicity leaned backwards into the grass, one boy on either side of her, as her eyes struggled to stay open. The rise of the hill still allowed her to see the rippling reflection of the stars in the pond.

"But then, Ben caught me in the barn one morning putting on his missing breeches, which I did so my Mother wouldn't notice my skirts getting dirty." She laughed.

She'd been telling them the story of how she'd trained Penny since they had passed by Jiggy Nye's house several hours ago.

Felicity had never gone out in the middle of the night without a purpose and was surprised at how quiet the night was, and how little there was to do. They had quietly roamed through the streets while Felicity gave them a tour of the town, pointing out shops and houses, and telling the boys all about the people who lived and worked there.

After a few hours of directionless wandering Nathaniel proposed they sit on the bank of a large pond they ran into hidden in the trees, about a quarter mile behind Mr. Randolph's house. Once they were comfortable he pulled a rather large bottle of wine out of his coat, which they had been passing between them selves since.

"So your plan was foiled!" Andrew exclaimed a bit too loudly. "You _already_ have a reputation for sneaking out, don't you, Felicity?"

"I suppose I do" she giggled. "But my plan wasn't foiled. Ben helped me continue lying to my parents, and stood up for me when I got into trouble."

Nathaniel snorted. "That's really quite a role model, how old were you, ten? And stealing horses?"

"I was nine!" Felicity laughed. "But, it was when we became friends."

"And what about now, would he help you lie if he found out about tonight?"

"I don't know!" She said, surprised to hear her tone becoming defensive. She didn't want to think about the feeling she had that even if Ben would lie for her about going out with Andrew and Nathaniel, he would be upset with her. "And besides, since he's been back he's been out riding with me every morning at dawn. And we don't have any reason to lie to anyone." She did not understand why she felt like she had to defend the time she spent with Ben to these boys who had been her friends for so long.

After an awkward pause, Andrew pointed at the hazy gray light was appearing over the eastern horizon "I hope you weren't planning on meeting him _this _morning." He said with a grin.

Felicity opened her eyes and the rising sun sent a jolt through her. "I am!" she exclaimed, leaping up.

"But we're leaving!" Nathaniel protested.

"We're leaving _after breakfast_." Andrew pointed out, now understanding last night's exchange.

"My mother will be awake soon!" Felicity added chaotically shoving her feet into her shoes before running down the road.

The boys chased after her and their journey home had become a kind of race until the moment they were in view of the back gate. Felicity stopped abruptly and pulled them down so they were hidden from the house behind bushes. "I'm going straight to the barn." She informed them, whispering orders. "You two go to the back door and go straight up to bed, and be quieter than humanly possible!"

"Yes, Sir." Nathaniel said, mockingly saluting her.

Felicity lingered for a moment as she watched them make their way through the gardens. Once they had made it into the house she stood and took a deep breath. She knew it was going to be a difficult morning, but she reminded her self that in only a few hours she could sleep the entire day on her ride to New York.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ben and Felicity were late for breakfast that morning. No one else seemed to mind, or even seemed very surprised, but once they got home and realized it, Ben and Felicity looked at each other sharing confused expressions while Ben tried to think through the morning. Felicity had been late, an unprecedented event, but he'd managed to ready the horses before she arrived, and it was hardly a set back at all. When he'd asked why, she told him she had been up late packing and hadn't gotten much sleep, he didn't think too much of it, and as the morning went on she'd slowly become livelier.

He was sure their ride had gone just like any other morning, discussing their daily news. She told him of the mess Polly had accidentally made while they had prepared dinner last night, and he'd had just received a letter from a friend who was in his regiment and had just gotten job in Yorktown.

Mostly Felicity talked about her trip. She couldn't wait to go back to New York. Ben didn't know why, but it bothered him, how excited she was to leave. He understood that she would want to see Elizabeth married, and that she would want to spend time with her friends. He even sort of understood that she wanted to see Annabelle's baby, but all of the reasoning he had done he still wanted to protest, even with no place or reason.

Of course he said nothing while they ate their lukewarm breakfast, when he helped her carry her things down from her bedchamber, or when everyone went out to the front porch to see her off.

"We promise to take excellent care of her, sir" Mr. Stratton promised Felicity's parents, while she hugged them both giving them each a kiss on the cheek. William seemed to want no part in the goodbyes. He squirmed out of his sisters attempted embrace and hastily muttered a farewell.

"Promise you won't be gone so long this time?" Polly asked, as Felicity picked her up.

"I promise. I'll be back in a few months, and you will be spending the entire summer at the plantation, you won't even notice I'm gone when you get to play there all day." She assured her, putting her back on the porch and kissing the top of her head.

Felicity hugged Nan who warned the side of her head to "Be careful!"

"Of course I'll be careful, there's nothing to worry about." Felicity laughed and held her sister closer.

"It's been a pleasure Miss Merriman." Mr. Lockwood said sincerely to Nan, appearing suddenly at her side.

"Indeed." She replied in a tight voice, not looking at the poor boy.

Ben was the only person she hadn't said goodbye to, and when she turned toward him he had an urge to grab her around the waist and kiss her. Felicity was walking towards him when Mr. Lockwood suddenly walked passed, bumping her along the way. She stumbled toward Ben, who was so surprised by his sudden thought that he stumbled a few steps backwards. He managed to reach for her at the last moment. Once they had regained their balance Ben did have one hand on her waist, the other holding the top of her arm, while her hands were on his shoulder and the other his elbow. Neither of them moved.

Ben could feel her looking up at him, and standing this close together, just as she was leaving, he wanted to say something important, but he didn't know what. Before he had time to think of anything he heard one of the boys, who had obviously pushed her toward him only a second before, pointedly clearing their throats. Felicity merely said "Goodbye" standing on her toes to quickly kiss him on the cheek, and then sweeping off the porch and into the carriage. Mr. Stratton and Mr. Lockwood followed her in, grinning and waving at the Merrimans.

"I'm not sure I trust them." Ben said, quiet enough so that only Nan could hear.

"Ha!" She exclaimed, even quieter, "You should have been there last night!"

"What happened last night?" Ben asked shaken by this offhand comment.

"I'm not allowed to say." she said with a coy grin as she walked back into the house.

Ben followed after her "Nan!" He hissed. "Nan, what happened last night?" but she walked away, shaking her head.

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	7. Chapter Six

Worst. Semester. Ever. Then right into Christmas – But I still love you all. And none of my busyness involved buying the rights to _Felicity. _They still belong to Pleasant Company.

**More Than This **

An _American Girl: Felicity _Fanfiction

By: DaggerQuill

**Chapter Six**

Everything felt rushed as soon as Felicity arrived in New York. With less than a fortnight before the wedding, and Annabelle confined to her bed chamber, Felicity and Elizabeth spent their days in a flurry of dress fittings, and flower arrangements. It seemed the night before the ceremony was the first time they had to relax, and joined the boys at cards.

"You've hardly ever talked to her!" Felicity snapped, looking up from her hand.

"Yes, but, I had heard you talk of her extensively, I knew of her character before we met." Andrew tried to explain. "Can I buy the queen for two pence?"

"You called her a prude every time I spoke of her! No, you may not have the queen."

"I was prejudiced then, and immature. But after I met her I saw how she could mange her decorum with such grace and elegance. And think, when we get married, all of our children will be cousins. Four pence?"

"What about Nathaniel?" Henry asked. "Is he to marry Felicity and join in our happy family?"

Felicity saw Andrew's eyes dart across to Nathaniel, searching his face with a nervous glance. It had happened so quickly that no one else even noticed, but it gave Felicity a fleeting anxious feeling.

"I will never marry." Nathaniel said in a firm, even voice. "I'll give you eight pence for the Queen."

"I suppose if we consider the way Nathaniel treats his own family," Henry laughed "I'm not entirely sure we would want him in ours."

Elizabeth suddenly turned to Felicity. "Is Ben courting you?" She asked sweetly.

"No." Felicity said quickly, "and no, Nathaniel, not even for eight pence."

"Is anyone else courting you?"

"No," Felicity said, annoyed at the sudden interrogation. "I spend most of my time with Ben, but we are not courting."

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth asked.

"What?"

"'Tis just a strange situation, isn't it? You live together. It's not as if he can call on you."

"'Tis not uncommon for apprentices to marry their employer's daughters," Felicity said briskly.

"What is uncommon is your friendship with Ben. I'm sure few apprentices have a relationship with their employer's daughters like you and Ben. He's cared about you since you were nine years old."

"All of the more reason for him to think of me as nothing more than a sister."

"You know that's not true, He's always cared about you, and trusted you, as if you were his equal."

"He's made no indication of intending to court me." Felicity said cutting her off.

"But he doesn't see, or write, or talk to any other girls?"

"None that I know of."

"If you spend all of your time together, wouldn't you know of them?" Elizabeth asked with a grin, "I believe you have nothing to worry about," she turned her top card revealing the Ace of hearts, "and it seems I have won this hand."

~*~*~*~*~*~

The day that Miss Elizabeth Cole became Mrs. Henry Lockwood was a sunny mid-summers day with a light breeze that cooled the air and filled the church with the scent of flowers from the garden. Andrew led Felicity down the aisle and she stood with Elizabeth as maid of honor while Annabelle, so close to her time, sat with Lord Harry.

Elizabeth was as beautiful as Henry was handsome and the entire day was flawless. It wasn't until that evening when Felicity watched Henry and Elizabeth's carriage pulling them down the drive that she felt a sense of dissatisfaction.

"What troubles you?" Nathaniel asked walking up behind her and taking her arm

"Oh!" Felicity said quietly, surprised by his sudden appearance. "It's nothing. It's… silly."

"Of course it's not." He said his voice serious. He led her to the sofa and sat down beside her.

"Just seeing Elizabeth getting married, I feel like it means our childhood is over, as if I should be married too."

"You're seventeen years old, Felicity. That's hardly an old maid."

"I know, but…"

"I am an entire year older than you and I am still unmarried." He stated with a grin.

"Yes, but you have sworn off marriage."

"I have. And it's taken a lot of worry out of my life. You should swear it off with me. I fear I am going to lose Andrew to that little sister of yours. You can replace him as an eternal bachelor with me. I will take care of you and we will do whatever we wish."

"This sounds quite scandalous."

"Well, well, well, you _are _becoming an adult, aren't you? Not to worry, you have already sworn off every eligible bachelor in New York, and spending the next week with Andrew and I will help you remember how to be childish again." Nathaniel grinned.

~*~*~*~*~*~

As it turned out there _was _one young man in New York Felicity had not met, and once they did meet, Felicity spent most of her spare time with Hugh Walker Lacey.

That night, just after midnight, Felicity was awoken by a piercing scream. She threw on a dressing gown and dashed out into the hall.

"What was that?" She asked finding Mrs. Cole and Lord Harry in the hall.

"It's the baby, Felicity. Can you take Lord Harry down to the parlor? Make him a drink and sit with him, if you will, my dear."

"Of course, Mrs. Cole." Felicity dutifully

Felicity sat up for the rest of the night listening to distinct _step-knock-step-knock _of Lord Harry pacing across the parlor.

At dawn she finally explained, "Lord Harry, you need to sit down, pacing across the room is not helping anything." She spoke in a dull voice and never looked up from her sampler.

"Right-Oh!" Lord Harry distractedly muttered. He sat by the fire for a brief moment until another cry from upstairs made him leap back out of his chair.

Felicity smiled. With such a lack of sleep she couldn't help but be amused by the fumbling of the lanky nobleman.

"How long has this been going on?" Andrew asked, appearing with Nathaniel in the parlor.

Felicity sighed. "All night. I've been sitting with Lord Harry, who had been this much of a nervous wreck since it began. I'm so glad you're here, I'm not sure how much longer I could have sat here with him without beating him with is own cane."

"How did we not know about this, it cannot have been this chaotic _all _night?"

"Of course it has. Only, the two of you will sleep through anything. Sit with him for a moment and I will go check on Bananabelle." However, just as Felicity began climbing the stairs Annabelle's last cry was joined by another.

Lord Harry passed Felicity and ran up the stairs, moving faster than Felicity could ever imagine a man with one leg could.

"Can I hold him?" Lord Harry immediately asked.

"Of course." Annabelle said, her voice tired.

Lord Harry reached for his son, and then hesitated. He turned his body and tried once more, again stopping just before he reached him.

"Just make sure you are supporting his head."Felicity offered from the doorway. "Then you can just rest him on your arm. Like this." She crossed the room to show him what she meant, carefully handing the man his son.

"Right… Right-oh…Thank you, Miss Merriman." Harry said, his voice disbelieving.

Neither Annabelle nor Lord Harry had any experience caring for children. When Felicity asked if they had hired a nurse for the boy, she learned that Annabelle's selfishness extended to her son.

"I don't want a nurse to raise him," Said the girl who had always wanted a small army of servants at her command. "He is my son. I can care for him myself."

Felicity had been helping with little ones for years, and thus became invaluable to Lord and Lady Lacey during that first week.

"I would have loved to have you waiting on me hand and foot like this when we were children." Annabelle laughed a few days later and Felicity showed her how to pin a diaper.

"Yes, well, then you were bossy and annoying, Felicity laughed. "But now you deserve the help, and I'm happy give it."

She was surprised to find that she was. She felt an affinity toward the young mother and wanted to help her. Caring for Walker was different than caring for her siblings. She didn't feel like it was her responsibility to watch over him, more of a need. When she was holding him she couldn't stop from thinking about what it would be like to have children of her own, and although the suddenness of these wishes frightened her a bit, she was surprised that she was enjoying them.

She was sure that this was the opposite of the fun, the irresponsible week that Andrew and Nathaniel had planned for her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Felicity returned home late on a Tuesday night. Ben had been waiting up for her to come home since Saturday. Waiting up did him little good as after quickly hugging him and her parents she headed wordless to her bed. The next morning she and Elizabeth had already gone before he had woken. The newlyweds had stayed the night with the Merrimens, but were planning to leave just after the midday meal. When Henry Lockwood showed up at the store later that morning, Ben found he wasn't the only one the girls had eluded.

"Good morning, Ben. I was wondering if you had seen my wife, I seem to have lost her, and I've heard many stories of her loitering here in the past."

I haven't seen your wife since breakfast. But it's nearly time for supper. We will most likely find them back at the house."

"The stories you heard are true. They always seemed to be everywhere, making trouble." Ben admitted fondly as they began down the road, "Mr. Merriman would often call them the Merriest Girls in Virginia."

"I envy you, you know, that you knew them when they were young. I can just see them running around, making mischief, always one step ahead of everyone."

"I was always a prop in their schemes to tease Annabelle, so unless you envy confusion and embarrassment…"

"Oh, from what Lady Lacey had said of them, it sounds worse being the objects of their teasing."

Ben laughed. "I assure you, whatever she's had to say about it a half a decade later, Annabelle never came out of their pranks with anything worse than damaged pride and a better sense of reality."

"No, I never imagined they did any real damage."

"I wouldn't go that far. You know Lord Harry's sister?"

"Pricilla? She returned to England; the family hasn't heard from her in years." Henry said disbelieving.

"I believe I know the reason for that." Ben grinned.

"Well," Henry laughed. "They grew up to be quite lovely, anyway. We are lucky men you and I."

Ben wasn't entirely sure he knew what Henry had meant, but agreed none the less. "If you'll excuse me," Ben said as they reached the barn, "I need a moment to clean up before dinner. I'm sure the girls must be waiting in the house."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"I've never drank _that _much tea in one morning!" Elizabeth's said, a few minutes later, from the barn under Ben's loft.

"Well, we were supposed to have gone riding, not calling on the entire town. I understand why everyone is excited to see the triumphant return of the successfully married Miss Cole, but between your husband, our families and every bored, gossipy wife in Williamsburg, I've hardly had a minute to talk to you since you've been married!" Felicity replied, Ben could hear her putting the horses back into their stalls.

"Now that we are alone, I must tell you that you must get married as soon as possible. The things you get to do once you are married – you shouldn't have to wait any longer!"

Ben didn't know what to do. Obviously the girls weren't aware that he was there. He remembered Felicity telling him that she was afraid of the old apprentice, because he would watch her through the floor boards. Ben felt very uncomfortable, but it seemed far too late to announce his presence.

"You don't mean…"

Ben knew _exactly _what she meant, but he was shocked that she would talk about it. Men talked, crass, lewd, conversations in the army or at the taverns, but it was nothing for ladies, Felicity and Elizabeth, to be speaking of!

"It's amazing, Lissie, I don't even know how to describe it."

"I've seen animals and heard… It always seemed so frightening and…painful."

Elizabeth laughed. "There is a certain amount of discomfort at first, but it's well worth the rest, and even then Henry was so affectionate and gentle…" Her voice faded away for a moment "I'm sure Ben will be the same way with you."

For an instant Ben's mind was completely blank.

"Stop it!" Felicity snapped.

"No, you stop denying that you want to be with him. Everyone can see you dancing around each other, it's silly. I could have told you that you were meant to be together when we were eleven years old! Then you came to New York and there were scores of eligible men, and you showed absolutely no interest. And you know that not all of them were loyalists, I won't have to hear that excuse. I mean really, Felicity, can you even imagine yourself with anyone else?"

Ben couldn't. He couldn't imagine a life where he didn't see her every morning. Where they didn't ride horses, or work at the shop together. If she married anyone else he couldn't watch her reading by the fire after supper or mumble things to herself while she is cooking. These were the things he missed whenever they were apart. And all of this had been obvious to Elizabeth Cole, whom he hadn't seen in years? He realized what Henry had meant earlier, about them being lucky men, or the _after breakfast _teasing from his brother. Even looks that he had gotten from Mr. Merriman suddenly made more sense.

"No." Felicity answered in a small voice. Ben wasn't sure if the noise that accompanied his release of breath was a sigh, gasp, or laugh, but he knew it was too loud. Felicity would most assuredly deny take back her confession if she knew he had eavesdropped on her in such a way.

"Well at least you've finally admitted that to yourself." Elizabeth said. "Let's get to dinner."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Nan loved dance lessons; learning the ways that intricate movements could display so many thoughts and emotions without the use of words. She was excellent at it, if she did say so herself. However, the unspoken messages that were being conveyed over supper that afternoon were too complicated for even Nan to follow. Mr. Lockwood seemed to be the most straight forward to her. He was watching her. Not in an unsettling way, Henry Lockwood was a perfect gentleman, she wished his brother was more like him, then she would feel such dread at his was observations and his apparent approval.

From across the table, Felicity would hardly look at anyone. Nan knew that something had to be going on if her sister was so subdued while she had company. Elizabeth, sitting right next to Nan, knew whatever the issue was, she couldn't stop giggling whenever she looked at Felicity or Ben. Ben had only looked at Felicity once, grinned like a fool for a half of a moment, then kept his eyes only on his plate as well. Nan wasn't sure if she was more annoyed that she had no idea what was happening, or how awkward it was making the dinner.

"Did you girls have a good time, you were gone all morning!" Mr. Merriman asked Elizabeth.

"We didn't intend on being out so long, I assure you. But there are so many things to catch up on. Lissie and I were just talking before dinner and- "

Felicity's head suddenly shot up with a panicked expression. Nan felt a sudden, sharp jab in her shin.

"Ow!" Nan exclaimed quietly, looking at Felicity with wide questioning eyes. He sister looked wildly between her sister and her best friend with a horrified disbelieving, expression.

Elizabeth could hardly hold back her laughter as she continued. "And we decided that we have not spent near enough time together."

"You're going to take her away again?" Ben asked suddenly.

"Elizabeth and I would like to invite _all_ of you to our house for Christmastide." Henry announced quickly, taking control of the situation and making Nan wonder if he was even more perceptive than she was.

"The Lockwoods are coming, and all of their connections from North Carolina, but my family will not be able to visit this winter." Elizabeth added, "I would be honored to have you as my personal guests. It's going to be a grand affair, with dinners and a ball for twelfth night."

Nan couldn't bring herself to be excited about seeing Mr. Andrew Lockwood again, but who was she to refuse as ball?

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